Thanks for your welcome and hospitality. The Compassionate Friends Victoria is a bereavement support organization, for parents, grandparents and siblings. I will be talking about bereavement tonight – a bit about my own story, some information about what Compassionate Friends does, and some hints about what you can do. The harsh reality of life is that we will all be exposed to bereavement experiences at some point.
Some of them are the ones we might expect – ageing parents or siblings, their passing is part of the natural course of life. Some bereavements however are unexpected, shocking, traumatic experiences.
 Kevin Purvis, President Mark Howlett & Jenny Purvis |
This is not going to be your lighthearted, amusing after dinner talk. We will touch on important, sometimes emotional topics.
Our son Stephen was a 15-year-old teenager, struggling with depression, motivation, school refusal – common enough experiences for many teenage
rs, and as a family we had worked hard to support him, engaging with various different professional and personal support systems. He was our lovely little boy, who supported the Bombers with passion, enjoyed playing sport and who read voraciously. At some point, the struggle became too much for him and he ended his life on April 24th, 2001. This turned our world upside down, throwing us into the pit of grief and despair. A loss like that raises so many questions, both for us parents and for his 3 sisters. How could we have done things differently, better? What did we say, or not say? How did this unthinkable thing happen to us, what we thought of as a fairly educated, emotionally literate, solid family? All those questions and so few answers.
rs, and as a family we had worked hard to support him, engaging with various different professional and personal support systems. He was our lovely little boy, who supported the Bombers with passion, enjoyed playing sport and who read voraciously. At some point, the struggle became too much for him and he ended his life on April 24th, 2001. This turned our world upside down, throwing us into the pit of grief and despair. A loss like that raises so many questions, both for us parents and for his 3 sisters. How could we have done things differently, better? What did we say, or not say? How did this unthinkable thing happen to us, what we thought of as a fairly educated, emotionally literate, solid family? All those questions and so few answers. 
And now, some 22 years after that day, we are in a place where the grief is not often raw, a place where life has grown and gone on, a place where we have learned to live with the questions that ultimately have no satisfactory answers. There are still moments where the grief hits you with quite an impact, some on days to be anticipated, like the anniversary, or his birthday, or other significant family occasions when he is mightily missed.
We received support from the Compassionate Friends Bereaved by Suicide group and attended for a couple of years. We then travelled to England for 18 months, Jenny undertook the leadership training program and now has convened the suicide support group for the past 9 years. I joined the Board some 5 years ago and have been President for the past 3 years. I also volunteer on our phone Helpline once a week. Being able to offer support to others is both good news for them and quietly therapeutic for us.The Compassionate Friends Victoria
229 Canterbury Rd, Canterbury 3126 www.tcfv.org.au email: support@tcfv.org.au
Phone Helpline: 9888 4944 or 1300 064 064
Office Enquiries: 9888 4034